Money and Romance pt 2

Hey,

Maybe you missed part 1, don’t worry; I’ll fill you in

• Money fights are real. About a third of couples argue about money—so whether you’re single or taken, knowing how to talk dollars and cents is crucial.

• Katey and I? We’ve been there. I shared one of our biggest money blowouts (a $3 GoMarco bar).

• Your Individual Money Mindset matters. We all have scripts from childhood that shape how we handle money—some helpful, some… not so much.

• Fixing it together. I broke down the key shifts that helped us go from financial friction to teamwork (Name, Share, Acknowledge, Create New Scripts).

Boom, you’re caught up!

This week, I wanted to follow up and talk about the importance of a Money Meeting.

Why A Money Meeting

Maybe the thought of talking to your partner about money has you a bit triggered!

The conversation probably looks like this,

““

Understandable. Katey and I used to have meetings just like that.

Avoiding them doesn’t help. There shouldn’t be one “money person” in the relationship.

Money is integrated into every facet of our life. It would be like saying, one of us does the parenting.

No, you’re both parents.

That doesn’t mean that you both need to be obsessed with finances. I spent yesterday morning reading a book about personal finance.

I shouldn’t expect Katey to want to do the same.

But, she should be able to answer,

• How much debt do we have? How much income do we bring in?

• What percentage of our income do we invest? What do we invest in?

• What are our financial goals in 20 years? Are we on track?

That’s about it.

Having a money meeting is time when you both can get on the same page about these topics. You’re not going to be able to cover and solve everything at once, so don’t go in with that intention.

Here is what you’re going to do.

The Money Meeting - How To

Here are some things that helped Katey and I have an amazing Money Meeting.

1. Lead with Vulnerability. Remember you both have your individual money mindsets.

   You can say something like, “Hey, I’m nervous about having this conversation; sometimes, I say the wrong thing. But I’m excited that we get to have this conversation together.”

   Lead with your vulnerabilities, and your partner will be more likely to open up.

2. Outline the Conversation. You may think I’m being too type A, but think about it. If you had an important meeting for work, you wouldn’t just wing it (hopefully). You’d map out a plan for the meeting. Do the same for this conversation, it doesn’t have to be word for word. Write down all of the things that you’d like to get out of the conversation.

3. Circle what’s most important. Why you spent $3 on coffee might not be the most important. Did you finish filing your taxes? That might be super important. A good example of a question to bring to the conversation is, “What would it look like if we both felt good about money?” What would we do more of and less of?”

4. Set Agenda and Time to Talk. This isn’t a conversation you have right when you both get into bed. Or after a long day of work. Pick a time and place where you can both really be present for 20 minutes. Then, follow this agenda:

   1. Connect - not just about money, truly connect.

   2. How I feel about money (both of you)

   3. How I want to feel about money (both of you)

   4. Next Steps

   Keep it simple, don’t go too deep, this is the first of many conversations. You’re both learning how to talk about money together. Consider that you’ve probably been taught more about sex than how to talk about money.

Remember, this isn’t the only conversation, you’ll have plenty of chances to talk about money. So focus on keeping this first one a positive one. Step away if you get overwhelmed. You got this!

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